this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
