Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
