What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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