he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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