Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
