i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You smell like stripper and shame
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
