went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
