If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
