he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
