i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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