what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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