I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
