I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
