we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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