she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
