VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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