go do what you do best...puke behind churches
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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