and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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