I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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