Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
