It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so let's talk penis.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
