i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
