dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
