he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
