I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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