If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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