that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
