My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
