ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
