I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize