Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize