I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
