just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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