we're blogging at a bar
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
