you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize