My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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