What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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