Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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