I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
