Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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