Slut skills are useful in every country.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You took a bar mat shot.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
