ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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