I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
