I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
