Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My first STD was from a foam party
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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