rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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