He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
