I heard we made out
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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