does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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