hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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