how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
