I wanna passion pit in your ass
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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