The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize