Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
