Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
