Need sex. Gaining weight.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
