No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't deserve a penis
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
