the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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