I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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