tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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