I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
