He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
