So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
