so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
