i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
