We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
